FLASH
Shkruar nga Paul Dallison
If we were to attribute political beliefs to birds, then it's clear that the seagull would be far-right, more specifically the English far-right, shaved-headed, violent, in love with coastal areas, and a bully who steals your chips as soon as you turn your back...
The collective name for a group of owls is “parliament.” Apparently, because, like politicians, they have deep-set eyes, fingers that point in different directions, and swallow their prey whole.
Unfortunately, there is no collective noun for politicians. But if someone decided to release some owls into a legislative chamber, then we would have a parliament within a parliament, which would make headline-writing journalists around the world very happy.
And that brings us, somewhat elegantly, or at least roughly, to Miroslav Radačovský, who this week was appointed Slovakia’s ambassador to Cyprus. When he was a member of the European Parliament in 2024, Radačovský released a live pigeon from a bag into the plenary chamber of the European Parliament in Strasbourg, meaning the bird has a better attendance record than most European Union lawmakers.
"I want to release this dove as a symbol of peace, to show that Europe needs peace. Let's let this dove unite us all ," he said, uniting the European bloc through the fact that the terrified bird soiled the entire plenary hall with feces.
Radačovský seems to have learned nothing from the pope. In 2014, Pope Francis and some children similarly released two white doves from the Apostolic Palace during the head of the Catholic Church’s weekly Angelus prayer. The doves were immediately attacked by a seagull and a crow. This, as historians will surely document one day, was the very moment when the world began its descent into chaos.
However, if we were to attribute political beliefs to birds, then it's clear that the seagull would be far-right, more specifically English far-right, shaven-headed, violent, in love with coastal areas, and a bully who steals your chips as soon as your back is turned.
The pigeon, on the other hand, would be politically green, as it is found almost exclusively in urban areas and is considered a nuisance by many people.
The stars of the sky, the starling birds, would be socialists, because they cooperate for the common good through their intricate movements in large flocks, but they are also prone to internal conflicts, often to the point of death.
Flamingos would be monarchists, looking down on you with disdain, while woodpeckers would be anarchists, setting up their bases in the forests and engaging in extreme behavior, like banging their heads against tree trunks.
Hummingbirds would be liberal, tolerant, and free-spirited, but also extremely territorial, while penguins would be conservative, always wearing their "suits" and trying to find a partner for life.
Of course, no political affiliation can be attributed to the mallard duck, the only bird documented to have engaged in homosexual necrophilia./ Adapted from "Pamphlet" by "Politico"
Lini një Përgjigje