FLASH
Shkruar nga Pamfleti
"Even in our part of the world, the wedding begins on Thursday, when the doors of the houses are opened and the visits of the society are welcomed with music and sweetness (where most go to the bride's house, because that's where they like it; the groom is dressed in a suit, he has changed a little). However, in our country, the groom is not dressed as a groom until the day he goes and takes the bride...", this is how one of the participants in the forum where the topic in question was discussed expressed himself, continuing to show that; "then Friday is the day they start the dowry to the groom's house, or the future bride's house...!
The women come and see what they will bring, and the women from the groom's side look at what the bride has brought (of course, if the neighbor doesn't see our panties, there's no money!). Many families have their own little traditions, which are passed down from generation to generation. In all the Tirana weddings I have seen, I remember that in every dowry suitcase, the bride would throw some candies, some rice and two flower buds, as if to show a new and sweet beginning.
Saturday, for the people of Tirana, is called; “the bride’s day”. This is not in vain, but because on that day the bride celebrates the end of her celibacy and has dinner without her husband, as the last time she is “free”. According to custom, the dinner starts around 8:00 PM and then took place in one of the largest courtyards in the neighborhood, while nowadays, it is held according to taste, in different places since it is more practical and the tradition has somewhat lost its thread.
The groom's friends come to dinner only after midnight and are a close family circle of the groom, but as we said, unaccompanied by the groom. They do not stay for more than an hour and are obliged, according to custom, to dance in honor of the family...!
On Sunday, the bride prepares to leave her mother's house and usually around 11:00, the groom arrives with his uncle and a small child, a relative of theirs, who gives the bride flowers in the meantime, which she must give to him. Then they get into the decorated car (formerly a white mare) and, together with the companions, head towards the groom's house, where the wedding takes place, of course, in all its grandeur. When the groom enters the room, he meets everyone and is preceded by the bride's brother, or if the bride has no brother, a cousin of hers, who then slaps the boy.
"Everyone shouts; knock, knock hard, but we don't knock, because we're worried about fingerprints coming out and ruining our wedding photos," says Albani. All this is done to show the groom that there is someone here for this girl and he should behave carefully towards her, respect her and not defile her as he pleases..."!
One of the groom's in-laws, as is customary, must be more skillful and clever than the people of the bride's house, to steal an object or item of any kind before they go out and then give it to the owner of the house, saying; "we are the cleverest. We threw it at you..."!
Imagine an atmosphere of music, congratulations, walking and standing with caution at the same time, to be careful not to break any custom, as well as to create a festive atmosphere and humor that ignites the celebration. And in the midst of all this, imagine the in-laws guarding the other party, so that nothing is stolen from them, although there is always someone clever among the "thieves", because of all the chaos created.
The bride?! It's cute to cry a little...! As the bride crosses the threshold of the house, they throw raki at her feet...! This has remained a custom, to keep away the devil and the evil eye. But a bride without tears, in Tirona, was not cute, so it was like a "fashion" for brides to pretend to cry a little (without wanting to take revenge on those who cried with all their heart...).
But from the conversations held on the forums from which we selected today's wedding material, someone, among other things, said: "We say that there are no beautiful brides without tears, but I have also seen some of them, who as soon as they come out, start 'oiii' and hold the stake as if they were being shot! They act as if they are being married by force, and as if they did not want a husband..."!
Then, as soon as the bride comes out, she dances with her neighbors and relatives in front of the palace and house, where the music and festive atmosphere do not stop for a moment. After that, the decorated bride is put in a car, which has been covered with a carpet.
Meanwhile, the bride must throw an egg back, a motif whose symbolic meaning we have not yet discovered. After that, the cars leave in a caravan, honking their horns and making a tour of the city. They all go, however, to a beautiful place, such as the Botanical Garden, where the wedding guests take pictures to remember them.
As the bride and her in-laws approach the house, they see their mother-in-law coming out and waiting at the door with a Turkish delight, half of which she eats herself and half of which she gives to the bride, as well as a plate of honey, in which the bride dips two fingers and wipes them on the doorstep.
After this ceremonial detail is over, custom dictates that the bride go inside and remain miserable for several hours with her head bowed, without looking anyone in the eye or face, greeting everyone, saying only "Thank you," as they wish her a happy and prosperous life.
After that, the bride is taken and taken to her room, where she is shown how it has been furnished. If the bride does not like it, this becomes apparent very quickly, as arguments with her mother-in-law over the positioning of beds, armchairs, and tables will be inevitable and increasingly frequent...!
Kur nusja hyn në dhomën e saj shkon tek krevati, ku i vjen një vogëlush i afërm i burrit, të cilin ajo duhet patjetër që ta dorovisë. Në atë çast në dhomë hyn dhëndri, i cili ia heq këpucën nuses dhe nis t‘ia mbushë me florinj (mjerë ai që i bie nusja me numrin e këmbës 42!).
BESËTYTNITË TIRANASE, NGA MORTI DERI TE… VAMPIRËT!
Riti funeral në Rrethin e Tiranës, i përshkruar prej disa informatorëve në vitet 1970-‘74, gjendet i dokumentuar në dorëshkrimet e shumta të Arkivit të Etnografisë në Institutin e Kulturës Popullore. Studiuesi Bledar Kondi, i atashuar pranë këtij Instituti, ka pranuar të na ndihmojë duke treguar diçka specifike më tepër, mbi traditat e trevës së Shqipërisë së Mesme dhe Tiranës në veçanti;
Shenjat e para-vdekjes: Tiransit e vjetër besojnë se kur i sëmuri flet me vete, thuhet se po flet me të vdekurit, po e thërrasin të vdekurit. Po kështu edhe kur i ngul sytë në një pikë, ajo është shenjë e sigurtë e vdekjes. Të agonizuarve, hoxhallarët u këndonin kapituj nga Kur’ani dhe i shkruanin nuska.
Personi që ishte duke nderuar jetë linte “amanete” dhe “hallashtisej” (falje e çdo faji). Populli beson se në vdekje, shpirti ndahet nga trupi dhe prandaj për të vdekurin thuhet se “dha shpirt”, “fali shpirt”, “i doli shpirti”, “e lëshoi shpirti”.
Vdekja: Dyert e dritaret mbahen mbyllur gjatë momentit të daljes së shpirtit. Si rregull, hoxha lante burrat, kurse baxhia lante gratë. Të vdekurin e vendosin me drejtim nga Kibla, d.m.th., në mes Jugut dhe Lindjes. Duart shtrihen përgjatë trupit. Banorët e fshatrave përdornin si aromatik për xhenazen, bahur (bar i bardhë) dhe trëndafila.
Gjatë natës i vdekuri “përgjohet” që të “mos e marrin shpirtrat e këqij”. Si rregull, fytyra e të vdekurit mbulohej dhe nuk i ekspozohej gjindjes që vinte për “kryeshnosh”. Gratë lidhin nga një shami të bardhë në grykë dhe një shami tjetër rreth kokës. Lidhja e njërës shami në grykë dhe e tjetrës kryq rreth kokës, është simbol zie.
Ditën, i vdekuri vendoset në dhomën e grave, ku qahet e vajtohet “me katrime” (me lot e me fjalë). Dikur ka qenë zakon që të paguheshin edhe vajtojca. Për vdekjet e rënda, ekziston shprehja “me e qa me llahinka”, që do të thotë ta qash me llahinka, gra vllahe ortodokse, që paguheshin për të vajtuar në familjet qytetare myslimane.
Në Shqipërinë e Mesme, besohej se trupi i të vdekurit nuk duhej prekur, ngaqë ndjente një dhimbje aq të madhe, saqë “i shkonte zëri në vesh të Allahut”. Në rastet kur një person vdiste larg shtëpisë dhe trupi i tij nuk mund të gjendej ose të sillej, atëhere rrobat dhe armët e të vdekurit ekspozoheshin në shtëpinë e tij, dhe njerëzit mblidheshin dhe vajtonin rreth tyre.
People are buried according to the time of their death and the arrival of people. As soon as the deceased was taken out of the house to be taken to the cemetery, all the filled vessels in the house were emptied. The father of the deceased was not allowed to come to the cemetery. The length of the grave was measured with a vine stick, which, after the burial, was broken in two and placed at the head and bottom of the grave.
After the hoxha calls the deceased by his mother's name, it is believed that the deceased rises on his elbows inside the coffin and says: "Ah, my God! I am dead!" Two hunjs used to guard the grave of the Tirana Muslim during the past centuries. The scarf around the neck of one of the hunjs symbolized the head of the deceased. Until the 19th century, the date of birth and date of death were written in Arabic and only during the 20th century did the inscription in Albanian begin to be used.
Until the 1960s, Muslim and Christian graves were separated, but then the differences were smoothed out. In the cemetery, “halva e rahmetit” (a symbol of the funeral dessert) was distributed, prepared by a widow, only for the middle-aged and elderly, but during the socialist regime, it was replaced by lokum (a symbol of the wedding dessert and happy events).
Previously, in cemeteries, for the deceased of the rich and middle class, sacrifices were made and the meat was distributed to the poor. The deceased could be buried in the morning, afternoon or late evening. Washing the face and hands in the cemetery must be done, so as not to bring the dead person home. Then the death table would be laid.
The linens that are kept for the day of death are called “the spoils of death.” Three days after the person’s death, the family would give away the deceased’s underwear to the poor. Although the imams forbade Muslim women from wearing black during the mourning period, the Tirana community has never approved of breaking the mourning period without passing the “dead man’s mot-mots.”
Count Dracula, from whom the legend of the vampire was born (calling him their father), is out of the question for the Tirans...! This tribe's concept of the vampire and its history is completely different... Like all Albanians, the Tirans believe that the soul of a bad man returns to the body and becomes a vampire.
After death, the lugat can have intercourse with his living wife and from this a "dhampir" is born. There is a legend in the suburbs of Tirana: "...A lugat with a name and who was terrible, as they said in the last century (19th) in the Tirana District, was the Lugat of Selita".
The families to whom the lugat belonged would sing and write amulets to the hoxhallars and shehlers, burn the grave with lime, etc. "The dhampir knows the lugat like a son knows his father." It is said that the dhampir practiced the profession of "farrier" (to shoe, as is believed, perhaps even the horseshoes of the devils who wandered up and down). / Memorie.al
Lini një Përgjigje