FLASH
Shkruar nga Thoma Gëllçi
The main cause of the protests was identified with 99.9 percent accuracy...
-Fejton-
The Prime Minister has sounded the alarm. The problem is not the protest. The problem is that no one is finding the organizer.
In Albania, you can't even have your morning coffee without an organizer. Everything, from weddings to tenders, has an organizer, let alone a protest with tens of thousands of people!
Secret services, patrons, experts and analysts are launched into the search. Following the prime minister's orders, the results were impressive. One group discovers that Greek monarcho-fascists are behind the protests. Another Serbia. Some find Iran. Others conclude that the Iranians are being manipulated by the Greeks and another group that the Greeks are being manipulated by the Iranians. The main opposition party discovered Soros. An advisor to the prime minister said that the crowd had gathered because they were waiting for the bikini strap of a girl posting videos on TikTok to be torn off. Meanwhile, a television commentator who has come to the rescue from Kosovo speaks of an organization so secret that there is no evidence that it exists. The Venetian grandmother's analyst said that all Albanians were anti-Albanians. But all the theories also had countertheories and none was gaining ground. The prime minister was worried, but also angry. The frightened advisors lowered their heads and walked silently through the corridors.
But the protests continue.
They even increase.
A large meeting is called. In addition to the state secret services, the secret services and private police that participated in suppressing the Zvërnec and Rrjoll uprisings, the cameras of the Emirates Safe City, two advisors to the two Syrian brothers who are coming from Qatar, the head of the Alabar palaces from Durrës, and many others are also present.
Silence. It seemed like they were attending a funeral.
When everyone, hopelessly lost, was thinking that they would not be able to find the cause of the protests, a young councilor said in a low voice:
— What if we ask the Sun?
A murmur was heard in the hall.
Diella, the Minister of Artificial Intelligence, the technological pride of the prime minister's AKSHI, was the right tool for this. How had they not thought of it before? According to official brochures, she analyzes billions of data, discovers hidden connections and reaches conclusions that the human mind cannot reach.
It's said, it's done. It's decided!
Everything ended up on its servers: police reports, secret service reports, patronage notes, Facebook posts, TikTok comments, television debates, political statements and electoral promises, memories of private guards. Road tenders, construction permits, Palasa urban plans, concession contracts, PPPs, the complete file of incinerators, parliament sessions, speeches by Berisha, Flamur, Taulant, Blendi Klos' interviews, Zegjines' speeches were entered. Everything.
For three days and three nights, the algorithms worked nonstop.
On the fourth day the announcement arrives:
The analysis is complete.
Ministers, directors, advisors, and the prime minister himself gather in front of the giant screen.
The lights go out.
The report appears:
48 billion data points were analyzed.
The subject with the greatest influence in creating public discontent and mobilizing citizens has been identified. Interestingly, not even he himself knows that he is the leader of the protests.
The hall froze. Wow, what a conspiracy! That's why they couldn't find it. The cause of the protests was so secret that even the cause itself didn't know it was the cause.
Who could it be?
The screen remains blank for a few seconds.
Then the last message appears:
The main cause of the protests was identified with 99.9 percent accuracy.
A deep silence fell in the hall.
Slowly, the picture begins to form on the screen.
Then the name.
Everyone sees it.
The prime minister's photo flashes on the screen.
Below it is written:
EDI RAMA
No one speaks. Only Diella adds in her soft voice, accompanied by captions below the photo:
"According to statistical analysis, this entity has contributed more than any individual, organization, internal or external force, to creating the conditions that brought about the protest."
The heavy silence of the hall was broken by Edi Rama's voice:
— Unplug it!
????nuk është çudi që dhe Rama me të tijët i ka dhanë një dorë protestës